If you were in a sexual relationship before you became disabled, you may be afraid to try having sex again. The way you have sex may be different, but like most other couples, you will find ways to have sex and please each other. But touching yourself does not cause harm or use up sexual desire. It is helpful for you both to talk about your feelings and the changes you may need to make. If you are paralyzed, you probably know how much you can move and what body positions are possible for you.
Sexuality for women who become disabled A woman who becomes disabled due to an accident or illness may find that her sexual feelings change. Many communities have beliefs that touching oneself is wrong or harmful, so sometimes people feel shame about doing it. And if she has a partner, they both need information about how sexuality can be affected by disability. Oral sex is easier if both people can get their bodies into the right position. It is also helpful to talk with other women with disabilities, and to share experiences. It can also be hard for women who live with their parents or other relatives. I feel like a queen now because I am always in my chair when we have sex. Also, if you want to have sex but do not want to get pregnant, see information about family planning and emergency contraception. If you were in a sexual relationship before you became disabled, you may be afraid to try having sex again. Or both you and your partner may be concerned that you will not be able to satisfy each other any more. Whether a woman has a sexual relationship with a man or another woman, it is important to practice safer sex to prevent sexually transmitted infections, including HIV. Talk with your partner about any limitations in your movement and about ways in which your body may respond to sexual stimulation. If you plan to have sex with someone, it will help to talk with that person ahead of time about things like safer sex and family planning. It can also help you feel more confident and good about your own sexuality. For example, a woman can have sex with her partner while she is in her wheelchair. But touching yourself does not cause harm or use up sexual desire. Sometimes a partner worries that sex will hurt a woman or be dangerous because of her disability. Sometimes, it can help to talk with the people who are helping you. For example, on the bed, in your wheelchair, in a chair, or on the floor. Finding a comfortable position If you have limited movement you may have to experiment to find a comfortable position to have sex. Talking with your partner Many women are ashamed to talk about—or feel—their desires. Some disabled women are married, and others are not. Instead of focusing on things you cannot do or things that are hard to do , build on things you can do that bring pleasure to both you and your partner. Some women have fewer sexual feelings or are not interested in sex for a while. It adds to the excitement.
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