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Loneliness depresses our immune system functioning, increasers inflammatory responses that put us at greater risk for cardiovascular disease, and can literally shorten our longevity. But they are also probably trapped in a cycle of emotional disconnection and feel helpless to break it. How Loneliness Operates in Marriages Although we might believe marriage can insulate us from the ravages of loneliness, that is not the case. After the show, tell them what you appreciated about—even if it was terrible, find something! On the mental health front, loneliness puts us at risk for depression and anxiety and causes us to distort our perceptions such that we view ourselves, our lives, and our relationships more negatively—which in turn, influences our behavior in damaging ways. To improve the quality of our relationship, we have to strengthen these muscles. In addition to the emotional anguish loneliness creates, it also has devastating effects on our mental and physical health. Practice taking their perspective. We perceive others as less caring, less interested, and less committed than they actually are, and we judge our relationships to be weaker and less satisfying than they may really be.

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Try to initiate conversations that are not about transactional details. In an effort to protect ourselves from even further emotional hurt, we become hyper-alert to any signs of rejection from others and more apt to miss signs of acceptance. Loneliness is determined by the subjective quality of our relationships not their objective quantity, nor just by whether we happen to be living with a spouse. In addition to the emotional anguish loneliness creates, it also has devastating effects on our mental and physical health. To improve the quality of our relationship, we have to strengthen these muscles. How Loneliness Impacts Our Relationships Loneliness distorts how we see other people and makes us devalue our relationships. Loneliness in marriage often happens slowly, as the disconnection we feel from our spouse gradually increases over years. How Loneliness Operates in Marriages Although we might believe marriage can insulate us from the ravages of loneliness, that is not the case. We also fall into daily routines that foster emotional distance—one person watches television in the evening while the other is on the computer, or one goes to bed at 9 pm and wakes at 5 am while the other goes to bed at midnight and wakes at 8 am. But they are also probably trapped in a cycle of emotional disconnection and feel helpless to break it. We perceive others as less caring, less interested, and less committed than they actually are, and we judge our relationships to be weaker and less satisfying than they may really be. After the show, tell them what you appreciated about—even if it was terrible, find something! Practice taking their perspective. On the mental health front, loneliness puts us at risk for depression and anxiety and causes us to distort our perceptions such that we view ourselves, our lives, and our relationships more negatively—which in turn, influences our behavior in damaging ways. Loneliness depresses our immune system functioning, increasers inflammatory responses that put us at greater risk for cardiovascular disease, and can literally shorten our longevity. But research clearly indicates this is not so. In short, we lose the love and the affection but stay in the marriage; ironically, often out of a fear of being lonely, although by doing so, we potentially doom ourselves to the very loneliness we were trying to avoid.

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